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Stephanie Webb

Stephanie Webb

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January 31, 2021 · Leave a Comment

January 2021 Reflections

Monthly Reflections

When I look back over this month, I realize that it has been a hard one for me. An assault on our capitol, fear over threats of violence to our democratic institutions, a still-raging pandemic, uncertainties about new and more dangerous mutations of the virus, and a slower-than-anticipated vaccine schedule have all taken their emotional toll on me this month. Yet in the midst of all this, I’ve started the year strong. I’ve managed to keep many of the promises that I made to myself at the beginning of the year. I quit social media this month. I’m writing for 5-minutes each morning, I’m exercising regularly, and I’m creating more margin in my life for my family. The outer world has felt chaotic this month, but the world inside my walls is as it should be.

In the spirit of Emily P. Freeman’s admonition for reflection at the end of this month–Here are the things that stand out:

The decision to quit social media was a good one for me this month.

I think the best thing I have done this month is simply to unplug from social media. To be clear, I didn’t intend to do this when I woke up on January 1st. I write more about this here, but I made this decision pretty impulsively. Also, I safeguarded my decision immediately by wiping by devices of all traces of FaceBook and Instagram. The most surprising thing for me with this change is how little I miss it. There have been only a small handful of times that I have reached for my phone to check Instagram only to remember that it isn’t there. The benefit to my life with this change is immense. I have more processing to do on this, but the two things that I will mention is that the absence of social media has brought two important things to my life: time and emotional stability. I did not realize how much time was being sucked down the hole of Instagram scrolling, nor did I fully comprehend how much my slight variations in mood had to do with something I noticed on FaceBook.

One main fear that I had when I made this decision was that I would not be able to hear from the voices on social media that actually speak life in to me. I follow a handful of people that I truly want to hear from because they add immense value to my life. That has been an easy fix though–I’ve been able to subscribe to their weekly newsletters or blogs. I don’t have to be aware of everything they post on Instagram–a once a week check-in is enough. I have many more thoughts on this that I will likely put down in writing at some point, but suffice it to say, this has been the best change I have made this month.

Over-consumption of the news is never good for my emotional health–even in historic and unprecidented times.

As I read back through my journal this month–one thing stands out. A clear message to myself that says–you are watching too much news. I know I am. With all the progress and time I have gained with quitting social media, I have lost much of that time this month down a never ending news-cycle hole. In all fairness to myself, this has been a month for news. A contentious electoral college meeting, an attempted coup, the Inauguration of a new President, and a pandemic are all news worthy events. I have felt that I’m living in a historical moment, and I want to be able to talk to my grandkids about all of this one day. I care deeply about some of these topics, and I want to stay informed. Staying informed, however, does not justify CNN playing in the background morning to night. Staying informed doesn’t mean checking news sources before I get out of the car to go in to Aldi’s, or listening to one news podcast after another in the pick-up line. There are ways I can stay informed with what is happening in the world without drowning in it. This is the mistake that I have made this month.

As of this writing, I’m on Day 2 of a significantly modified news-consumption routine. Yesterday, after I bought $60 worth of KN95 masks after watching coverage on the new variant of Covid-19, Frank confronted me. Go a day without the news, he challenged me. Remarkably, I ruffled at the suggestion. I resisted this challenge more than quitting social media even, and truly after one day–it was harder for me to quit. Knowing that I couldn’t go the entire day, I agreed to only watch the NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt. I kept the TV off, and I didn’t check any other online news sources until Lester Holt at 5:30pm. The change was significant. Similar to my first day without social media, I discovered more time to do more meaningful things. I even took a walk in the park in the cold, and it was wonderful to be outside. I was also less worried about Covid-19. I’m still working out the logistics of this change, but I already know it’s a going to be a good one.

“Your spark is not your purpose” – Jerry the Counselor in the movie Soul.

On New Year’s Eve, we watched Soul with the boys. I had heard it a was a cute move, but little did I know it would contain a valuable lesson for me personally. Without giving a full-summary of the movie, there is a specific scene where a God-type figure clarifies a certain important point about our purpose. He says simply, “Your spark is not your purpose.” I had to rewind and watch this seemingly insignificant part of the move more than once to let this message sink in to my own soul. I realized, in processing this, that I have long confused the things that bring me the most joy (my spark) for my purpose in life. I love to read (maybe that’s my purpose?), I like writing sometimes (maybe that’s my purpose?). This has always confused me because what I spend the most time doing each day isn’t necessarily connected to what I love to do. This message then–that what I love to do isn’t necessarily tied to my purpose in life–was very freeing for me. No longer did I need to try to connect what I love with what I’m doing. Rather, the things I can enjoy can be simply that–things I enjoy.

I’m so grateful for the way that God has guided me through this first month of 2021 even though parts of it have been hard. On to February!

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I wrote this little prayer today in between emails I wrote this little prayer today in between emails and Zoom meetings. If you happen to read this, I hope it blesses you. :)
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#prayer #prayers #weekend #liturgy
Not a huge selfie fan (of myself), but it is worth Not a huge selfie fan (of myself), but it is worth documenting that I finally got my hair done, and it is no longer gray. #ThankyouGod
{4} “I suspect that God’s plan, whatever it is {4} “I suspect that God’s plan, whatever it is, works on a scale too large to admit our mortal tribulations; that in a single lifetime, accidents and happenstance determine more than we care to admit; and that the best we can do is to try to align ourselves with what we feel is right and construct some meaning out of our confusion, and with grace and nerve play at each moment the hand that we’re dealt.”― Barack Obama, A Promised Land
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I will admit that I wasn’t paying much attention when Barack Obama was entering his first years in office in 2009. I proudly voted for him, and then promptly turned my attention to my life which consisted of little to know political awareness. Truly, it hasn’t been until the last four years that I have paid too much attention to the political landscape. I picked up this book in the hopes that looking back to a not- so-distant past would help me understand and better appreciate the political turmoil of our day. This book did not disappoint.
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There is so much I could say about this five-star read, but the most important thing that I took away from it is simply a sense of hope. Watching the current news cycle for any length of time has the tendency to create a hardened cynicism that says that change isn’t possible, that our divisions are too deep, and that no optimistic hope can bridge the chasm that seems to divide us. Obama challenged me though to believe in the goodness of people—to believe that there are enough of us using our conscious as our guide—to believe that our individual actions matter in the larger scheme of things. This reminded me that hope is not lost. We all have a part to play, and no part is too small.
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#apromisedland #barackobama #hope #bookstagram
A month is not complete for me without a tiny mome A month is not complete for me without a tiny moment of reflection. Here is what I learned and observed in January:
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My life is more meaningful when I mute the noise of social media and the endless news cycle. Starting the year without social media was a really good decision.
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Our words matter. I always knew this, but the attack on our Capitol on January 6th was another reminder of how much power our words (spoken, typed, written, tweeted, texted, captioned) really do make a difference. What if we all used our words for good? What could happen? What would happen?
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Bowling on Saturdays in January has proven a reliably fun and safe activity to do on cold days in the middle (or maybe end?) of a pandemic.
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Writing for five minutes every morning is life-giving and soul-revealing. I didn’t know how much I had to process until I picked up my pen in the morning. I’m not sure I will ever stop this simple practice.
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The movie Soul changed my perspective on purpose. I love it when a movie for children speaks so poignantly to the adults in the room.
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Watching my Paperwhite bulbs start to grow is a daily reminder of how I grow and learn and change. My process always starts small and often in the dirt, but slowly, slowly something new emerges.
“Washington was a typical American. Napoleon was “Washington was a typical American. Napoleon was a typical Frenchman, but Lincoln was a humanitarian as broad as the world. He was bigger than his country - bigger than all the Presidents together…We are still too near to his greatness,' (Leo) Tolstoy (in 1908) concluded, 'but after a few centuries more our posterity will find him considerably bigger than we do. His genius is still too strong and powerful for the common understanding, just as the sun is too hot when its light beams directly on us.' (748) ― Doris Kearns Goodwin, Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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Yesterday I finally finished Goodwin’s famous work on Abraham Lincoln. Doris Kearns Goodwin’s masterpiece of a book describes the unlikely rise of the “railsplitter” from Illinois to the highest office in the land, at perhaps one of the most crucial moments in our nation’s history. In fact, our country was fracturing even as Lincoln was traveling east to Washington for his Inauguration in 1861.
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I’ve always known that Lincoln was a national hero, but until now I’ve never understood exactly why. Here is what made Lincoln great: it was his character. He lead with kindness and empathy. His gracious heart was able to turn his fiercest rivals into his closest allies. He chose his cabinet members not by how loyal they would be to him, but rather how he felt they would help him to lead the country. He was deeply humble, and he never took himself too seriously even in the depths of the Civil War. He was criticized at every turn throughout the war, but he never wavered in his purpose. He was deeply in tune with the needs of the country, and had a vision for America far greater than many of his contemporaries could see. When he died at the end of this book, I felt like I had lost a close friend—such was the power of Goodwin’s writing. Our country was truly blessed to have this particular man in the Presidential seat at this very critical moment in our country’s history. I  got to know him.
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{Image Caption: Picture of the book Team of Rivals}
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#bookstagram #teamofrivals #abrahamlincoln #fivestars
I bought this sign in 2018, long before I had even I bought this sign in 2018, long before I had even considered the reality of a global pandemic or a stay-at-home order. I have lots of memories of March of 2020, but one that stands out is cleaning out my office to finish the semester from home. I remember one of my colleagues saying “I’ll see you on the other side.” At the time I thought that, “the other side” meant a week or even a month from then. I will admit that the thought of working from home in my cozy socks was appealing. I was happy to go home for a bit. In that same week, though, I understood two simple facts: I was not going back to work any time soon, and people were dying. I was going to work from home in my cozy socks and people were going to die.
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When I look back on 2020, I think I will remember this: I held both beauty and pain in my hands at the same time. I cried tears of joy and sadness in the same moment. This tension has always existed, but this year was marked with it for me. It is the promise of a vaccine with an empty chair at Christmas. It is a hospital full to overflowing, but also filled with dedicated medical workers risking their lives for strangers.  And, it is me in my cozy socks with tears in my eyes.
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{Image Caption: The decorative sign on my wall that reads “Let’s Stay Home.”}
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#beauty #pain #grateful #2020
Here is my #topnine for 2020. My curly hair phase, Here is my #topnine for 2020. My curly hair phase, day 4578 of quarantine, thirteen years of marriage, #bidenharris2020, and the best book I read all year!
I have gained so much this year from the simple ar I have gained so much this year from the simple art of reflection. In a year where everything became unpredictable almost over night, my simple habit of reflection throughout this month has helped to ground me. I'm so grateful for the teaching of Emily P. Freeman who lead me to to this practice.Here are a few of the things I learned in December:
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I suck at completing the Christmas puzzle. Each year, I pull out my Christmas puzzle, and each year I get about as far as the image you see here before it goes back in the box until next Christmas when I pull it out to try again.
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I oppose the death penalty. I kind of already knew this, but this case of Brandon Bernard earlier this month sealed the deal for me. I’m still learning how I can make my voice count in this area.
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Hamilton (on Disney +) is just as good as everyone says it is. I'm not ashamed to admit that I took an entire afternoon while my boys were still in school to watch this play while eating an entire frozen pizza by myself (it was small (ish)).
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Lighting the Advent candles is a beautiful way to commemorate the season of Advent. While my boys and I have practiced Advent for years, I haven't actually used an Advent wreath or lit candles in coordination with the daily movement toward Christmastide. The actual act of lighting a physical candle has a magical way of changing the mood in the room. The shift is a subtle one, but it is very real. My kids stilled when I lit the candles and our family room took on the feel of a tiny cathedral. Aside from the time Dane nearly caught his hair on fire trying to blow one of the purple candles out (#truestory) it was a beautiful experience.
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(I had to put the rest on my newly re-established blog, because I ran out of room! (Of course, I did.) I have a #linkinbio if you want to read the rest of what I learned this month.)
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{Image Contents: My unfinished puzzle, with only a few pieces successfully put together. I love you, Mom.}
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On to 2021!
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